Loyalty
by Kallamari
Summary: In a world without Snow, Serah might have fallen in love with Noel. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the world she was living in these days.


In a world without Snow, Serah might have fallen in love with Noel.

When she first thought it, it was a passive realization. It had happened as early as their first visit to the Bresha Ruins, while she had been staring at his back not long after they left the cemetery. She stared at the broadness of it, only vaguely knowledgeable of the terrible weight he must have shouldered in his past, yet he still faced forward. In such a short amount of time, Noel had revealed little in words but so much in action, and Serah found herself secure with a warm trust and respect for him. Aside from Lightning, no one had ever earned such complete faith so quickly.

They definitely had chemistry; at least enough of it that the people they encountered frequently assumed they were an item. It wasn't limited to strangers either. Even Labreau had teased Serah about the topic, and Gadot was always a little overly concerned whenever the two were around each other. (His not-so-subtle reminders of Snow didn't escape her notice.) Many had commented on what a great team they made, and while work and romance were different things, Serah noted just how well Noel complemented her throughout their journey. He was the hard-hitter while she weakened their enemies. He kept a straight head while she explored different explanations. He encouraged her to fight and move forward whenever she was in the face of doubt…

...though maybe, she was moving ahead a little too quickly for comfort.

"You know, I used to blame Caius for what happened to Yeul," Noel said one day, sitting down next to the weather machine as rain poured down on the Achylte Steppe. The two of them were alone then, though the distant chatter of the villagers melded with the steady patter on the rooftop. They had decided to take shelter until the Ochu made its reappearance. Serah turned her head to look at him, only to find him still looking at the blue shadowed sky. His eyes matched the patches of faint light that passed through the clouds.

"You don't anymore?" she asked, calm despite her surprise.

"I know now he couldn't have done anything to stop Yeul from seeing visions. Going back to my time… it made me think on it more." Though he spoke of letting go of blame, the hand on his lap clenched in a fist. "But that still didn't give him an excuse to leave like that. Yeul died not long after her birthday, and the days before she was happy if only two people celebrated with her. Then it was just me and Yeul. Even after remembering what happened, I still can't forgive him."

Normally, when Noel spoke on the subject of Yeul and Caius, Serah knew there was more to be heard than what was said at face value. Yet, as he was being comparatively open about their history, she still had a feeling he was thinking about something else.

"You're thinking of forgiving him as we're training to defeat him?" she asked, cocking her head to the side while trying to pry open his thoughts. "Are you thinking about what comes after?"

Noel's eyes widened only slightly, but it was enough to know her question caught him off guard. "No, that's not what I was thinking." He flattened his hand against the metal floor and turned to her. "Well… If you really wanna know, I was wondering how you could forgive Snow."

Snow. The sound of his name made her heart throb, but these days it was with more pain than joy. Perhaps Noel had noticed, too. Serah forced a smile.

"If I remember right, Noel, when we first met it sounded like you blamed me for not following him." Noel humored her with a half-hearted laugh.

"Yeah. But then I met the guy. I wouldn't put it past him to leave without giving anyone a chance to get any word in. Or am I wrong?" He looked at her expectantly, and when she gave a soft sigh in answer, he grew a bitter smile.

"He did leave right after he said he believed me. But that's just how Snow is. When he decides something, he charges ahead at full speed. Sometimes I thought it made him pretty cool. Like a hero, you know? He's always there for me."

Until he wasn't.

The dissonance caught her attention as soon as she spoke it. Memories of her past journey with Noel swirled around her head all at once. Noel, who was always within reach ever since she met him. Noel, who patiently waited for her to take the next step. Noel, who depended on her enough to face their battles together. Noel was always there. Noel was here. Bad or good; dangerous or safe; easy or hard. Noel was here.

And Snow?

Tears fell without warning. Shocked at herself, Serah swallowed and brushed them away. Noel leaned forward with a hand extended, but the moment he so much as brushed her hair, it stung at her heart. He pulled back right after she flinched away.

Snow wasn't anywhere anymore.

"Serah…"

"I… I didn't mean to cry." She laughed, truly amazed that she could break into tears at a second's notice. When had it gotten so bad? "I forgive him. I really do. He loves me so much."

"We don't have to talk about it," he reassured, the guilt on his face mirroring how she felt. She tried to find words, to give, to explain, but ended up with nothing. Though, if anyone understood how difficult things could be to talk about, it was Noel. Serah found comfort in that.

And so they didn't talk. The two continued to sit in silence, watching the rain pour, venturing through their own thoughts. Even when they both knew the ochu had long arrived, they sat. That was the day Serah's last string of denial was finally cut. She already was in love with Noel, with all the hypotheticals thrown out in the bitterest of ways. The question was whether or not she'd accept it.

"Hey, Noel?" she asked, smiling at him- if only with her eyes.

He turned to her with a warm gaze. "Yeah?"

"Thank you... for being here."

The corners of his lips subtly lifted, his hand resting next to hers.

"Yeah."


End file.
